Nightmares and Candles
by Felis Selita
Summary: Do you know that I also have nightmares back then? / I think I'm having it again now, because I see him leaving me. / It's all right. It was just a dream.  Reo's POV. Slight Reo/Elli.


Title: Nightmares and Candles

Rating: K+

Characters: Elliot Nightray, Reo.

Genre: angst, tragedy.

Warning: chara death, duh. As if you haven't read chapter 60 already. XD

Summary: Do you know that I also have nightmares back then? / I think I'm having it again now, because I see him leaving me. / It's all right. It was just a dream. (Reo's POV. Slight Reo/Elli.)

A/N: Maybe this is slightly AU for the dreams Reo experienced… O.O

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Nightmares.

Usually, it had always been Elliot seeing those. But nobody knew that I was also having such things back at that time.

It all began since we—I and Elliot, of course—were back from Fiana House. Yes, that very day, the day when Elliot was almost killed. The day when I almost lose my everything. I may sound exaggerating, but no, I'm not. He was my everything. And he had almost died. _Because of me_. Any girls or romance novel writer would probably think it sweet, but I wasn't any of both. I don't think it sweet. Not at all.

But I managed to bring him back 'safely', though. No, wait, I don't think he was 'safe' at all. I don't think I saved him. Back at that time, when Humpty had sealed all his wounds and not even any scratch could be seen on his body, I was still so afraid that he would break out. I was afraid that the wound would be opened up just out of nowhere (nothing is predictable about Abyss, remember?). I was afraid that even though he didn't look hurt at all, the inner parts of his body were slowly breaking. I was so afraid, because I would have no way to know about that. I wouldn't be able to ask him that, either, for he didn't remember. All I could do was just repeating to myself that it would be all right.

Everything was all right—that's what he had always remembered. I had also remembered the same thing for some time. It was confusing, really, one day I could remember that day, the next I couldn't, and then I could—mostly I could, though. Could it be that we got our memories jumbled because of Humpty Dumpty? Well then… I hope he never got the memories of my nightmares.

Oh, yes, my nightmares. They were a sequence of dreams. They weren't the very scary ones, as in ghosts everywhere or something chasing me till I wake up sweat-stained, but they were... Well, something that I couldn't stand seeing.

I remembered myself in a music room. It was dark at night. I remembered seeing a bench and a piano next to a large window, but I don't remember what else was in the room. Probably because the moonlight was the only thing keeping me from stumbling over random things on floor and it wasn't enough to light up the room.

I sat on the bench, facing the piano. Nothing in mind, but my fingers just danced on the keys, repeating out a melody I've never heard or thought of before. It was beautiful. But I didn't get to play with deep notes too much, because the shadows of the room halted my vision. I did nothing to it, though.

And just when I got bored playing the same song over and over, Elliot appeared. He came into the room, candelabra in hand. Five candles, but only four lit. He put it down on a table next to the piano, and now the room looked clearer. I could see my fingers, I could see my legs, I could see him. I could see the left-side keys that were previously dark. I could reach those keys. I could play a different song I've never able to play before. I was happy, and I could tell if he was, too. I smiled at him, and he smiled at me.

We continued to play for some time, Elliot playing another piano that was in the room too, until then suddenly he decided to get up. He removed one of the candles from the candelabra—the one not lit—and put it in a candlestick. He lit it up with the fire from the other candles. He brought it out with him. I didn't ask why, and he didn't tell me. I only remembered seeing him smile before he left the room.

The dream was repeated for some time, probably twice or thrice. I thought it was the usual stand-alone dream until I see the continuation.

The next dream was quite a same dream, only he didn't bring anything, and the previous candelabra was already in the room before he entered. We played again, different song this time. When he thought it was enough, he took one candle again, and now I only have three. I was quite annoyed, for I couldn't see things as clear as I could before.

I noticed our play time getting shorter at the third dream (probably at the second dream too, but I couldn't remember). The song became shorter. The smiles we shared became lesser in frequency. I felt my heart throbbing thinking about that. I remembered feeling sad—an emotion that was so foreign to me. I don't know why I always became so emotional when Elliot was involved.

At the time I only got one candle left, we didn't play together. I played random notes by myself when I was waiting for him, hours that felt like years, but when he came into the room, I was disappointed that he didn't sit on the bench like the previous days. He only took the candle and left.

Or almost left, if I didn't talk to him. I didn't remember what we talked about back then, but in the end, he still left the room, leaving me alone in the darkness.

_"Reo?"_

And then I woke up, tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Reo?" I heard Elliot's voice so close to me. When I turned my head, I saw a blurred figure, him sitting next to my bed, book in hands. Apparently, he had been reading when I slept, and then he woke me up. I saw him frown. "You're… Crying?"

Oh, so it was why everything was blurring. "Am I?"

"Yes, you are, moron," he mocked. But his face looked concerned. "Was it your dream? What did you see?"

"I…"

Wait, would it be any good to tell him this? Wouldn't it just be a burden? Besides… It was only a dream, right?

"Nothing."

I forced a smile at him, and the day went on like usual. We played and talked and laughed together, as if nothing had happened. Well, nothing much happened. It was only that some days after it, strange things began happening. Many of the children in Fianna House died (may God bless you all, kids). Of course, it was because of the Humpty Dumpty. I felt sad. Not only because of them, but because my fear reappeared.

Elliot. What if the same thing happened to him?

What if... my nightmares became true?

I was restless. He could even tell. I snapped a lot and not talking a lot—which was unusual. I wasn't in the right state of mind. But of course, I never told him. I don't want to be a burden.

But one night when the dream reappeared in my sleep, I couldn't recall what happened (go to hell, Humpty Dumpty!) and the last thing I remembered is that somehow I had told him that it was the nightmares.

"Yes. It was the nightmare."

He frowned again. I knew he wanted more explanation.

"It was about candles," I finally said, unable to stand his beautiful blue eyes piercing into my eyes. He was always able of doing that; I was never able to hide something from him if I caught his stare like that. "And you," I paused. "Leaving me."

"What?" He looked bewildered. Of course. "You dreamt a girl's dream."

I only sighed. I bet he wouldn't be able to say that if he were me. I expected him to look at me with mocking eyes, but to my surprise—no, he looked… Sympathetic. I then remembered that he knew as well how scary it was to have nightmares; he felt it all the time. Oh, no. His eyes. They were filled with sadness. Did I make him worried?

He smiled. Rather a sad smile, but still a smile nonetheless.

"It's all right," he said. "It was just a dream."

I realized that no matter how wrong it was, telling him felt a lot better than keeping it all to myself.

And we played and talked and laughed together, and the day just went on like usual.

The night before Oz-sama held a party in Isla Yura's mansion, the dream came to me again. I was bewildered. It was the same dream, the last dream where I was playing a song and Elliot wasn't, and he took the last candle from me. This time, I couldn't let him leave. I talked to him and he stopped.

"Why?"

I thought I would be able to form a better sentence, but it was only that word coming out from my mouth. He stopped in front of the door and turned his head to me. He looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you take the light away?" I asked, head down. I remembered my mouth turned up to a sad curve.

Elliot looked at the floor, avoiding seeing me. When he answered, his voice was strained. "I have to."

"I can't play without them." I looked at Elliot. He was still not looking at me. I didn't know why, but I felt my heart breaking. He was used to be here. He was used to play with me. He was used to bring the light, so why was he taking it away again?

"But you were used to play without any light."

True. He had a point there. I knew I could play with only the moonlight as a company, but the songs weren't as beautiful as when I have another light. The tones I could reach weren't as many as when I have another light. I wasn't enjoying myself as much as when I have those lights with me.

"You… I do this for you," he said.

What?

Suddenly the memories of that day flashed in my mind, the day when Humpty had its tongue through Elliot's chest, the day when he almost died _because of_ _me_—

_Did he left because of me?_

—when I made him make a contract with—

_Was it me after all?_

"It felt better with the light here." My teeth gritted, and my hands clenched. After considering for a while, I added, "Please don't go."

At my last words, I began to wonder what I was talking about. Was it about the candles? Or wasn't it?

"I'm sorry."

Was it the light the candles gave, or was it the light he gave?

"I only wanted to save you."

Had it always been him?

"To always be with you."

Why do I realize this after he left—

"Don't—"

—because of _me_?

_"It's okay,"_ I saw Elliot, suddenly in front of me, suddenly no longer in that dark music room, suddenly in a room much brighter. He smiled. Anyone would think it was a comfort, but I knew, because I always notice, that it was much more. He felt the same anxiousness. He felt the same thing like I felt when it was me telling him it's okay after he got his nightmares, the one with buildings burning and people dying and his sword blood-sheathed, the different episodes that just generally means the same.

That it wasn't all right.

_"It was just a dream."_

Yes, it was, it was.

So why is everything blurring again now? Why am I screaming again now? I think I see a dark room. Not a music room, no pianos and no benches and no moonlight, but there are the light. There are the candles. There are the candelabras. I think I see the light. I think I see Elliot. Laying down in front of me, eyes closed. Sleep, Elliot? Are you sleeping?

_"It's all right."_

I think I hear him saying, but how come? Isn't he sleeping? Oh, no, I look further down and there is the candlelight reflected from the dark pool. I think I see blood. I think I see his blood. I think it's his blood anywhere, decorating the hard floor of the room. Elliot wasn't carrying any candle. Elliot wasn't carrying any light. Of course. He was the light. But it's dark, Elliot, dark. I can see you but it's still dark. Why are the candles not lighting?

_Candles, candles, there were candles._

_"It was just a dream."_

Which was it?

_Five on the candelabra, four lit, but one flickered and then there were three lights_.

Tears are flowing out of my eyes as if I don't have any shame. I think I'm wetting his clothes. But it was wet already, a blackened red wetness. I don't think it would make any differences. I don't think me crying would make any differences to anything, but I still cried anyway.

"Elliot," I said, or maybe yelled, or maybe cried, or maybe it was only a dream. "Elliot. Elliot. Elliot."

Which was the dream, Elliot?

_Five on the candelabra, three lit, but one flickered and there were two lights._

It finally happened, the things that I'm so afraid of. His wounds are reopening. His chest was pierced, more like torn, and I knew that it was the long forgotten wound. (Wait, he did forget, but I didn't. I couldn't. I couldn't forget anything about Elliot. I couldn't forget Elliot.) His left hand was also wounded, as if something sharp had stabbed there. I noticed his rapier lying next to his right hand. I noticed the rapier bloodstained. I wonder if it was the blood from his left hand, or it was the blood from his chest. I wonder what differences it would make. I wonder what differences it would make, if it was my blood instead of his.

Which was the dream—light leaving me or everything's all right? Or both?

_Five on the candelabra, two lit, but one flickered and there were only one light._

It had really finally happened, the things I saw in my nightmares. He had left. _Because of me_. The candles had left. I was alone in the darkness. The music was no longer playing. The light was no longer lit. Elliot was no longer—

_Five on the candelabra, one lit, but it flickered and suddenly it was dark all over_.

Ah, I think I'm having my nightmares again, Elliot.

Are you also having them right now? Because I think I see your memory, the dream of people dying and buildings burning and your sword blood-sheathed. I think our dreams are getting jumbled by the Humpty Dumpty, because I see the candelabra with no light on and I also see blood everywhere. And I even see you here, laying down in front of me. Isn't it sweet, Elliot, for us to meet in our dreams like this? No?

Wake me up, Elliot. Then maybe we could play and talk and laugh together and maybe the day would go on like usual.

Or maybe it would only happen in my dream.

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End

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Aww, I just fail at angst, do I not? oTL

And how nice it would be if I could make this long and chaptered instead of meaningless *?* oneshot… I can already imagine, but sadly I'm not good at making a long fic. I would usually lose my interest halfway XD Can someone make it? With credits to me, and under my 'supervision'? XDD

Review critics comment flowers cupcakes flames shoes tomatoes *?*… I'll accept them all.

Thanks for reading. ^^


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